Self-inflicted brain damage in MY Russia? It's more likely than you think.

One girl flops around stage like a Starbucks-deprived teenager, with 3 others in tow, while a sex offender masturbates like it's 1999 and it's all set to an Eminem track. It's not so much art as it's how every white child is conceived in Alabama.

People always let fat girls and depressed men meet the end without hesitation. But if there's a set of C cups and a slim body at risk, the Green fucking Lantern himself is en route.

So... help is immediately administered for her, but not a single fuck is given when 6 girls decide to play kick the face?. CHINA Y U NO MAKE SENSE!?

Dude got caught red handed while committing grand theft bovine. His punishment? To chow down on some grade F beef, raw. And if you think it stops there, well, you don't know Indonesia.

Viral marketing has gotten pretty clever over the years but we don't think that's the deal here. News reports prove it's legitimacy and there's even a reward for someone that can explain what happened. We'd try, but their 1 frame-per-second cell phone technology put a stop to that.

Simply put, there's no recovering from going elbow-deep whilst in the fireman's carry position. But it is the preferred method of saving whores from a burning building. Remember that.

Frolicking around and enjoying life in Malaysia is like being a female with an opinion in Russia. It's perfectly okay until the locals find out, then it's a mortal sin.

First of all, anyone that dresses up like half a Hamburglar in public is trouble. Second, with pounds per square inch like that she should have been helping out with the video below this. Seriously.

Considering the driver is both Asian and female, this isn't surprising. They probably have a points card that gets them free foot-longs at Subway for every 12th accident in China. lol, and mmm.

The connection between nudity and mental unstable racist men will never make sense to me. Attacking a black man with 3 1/2 inches of shriveled linguine hardly seems like a fight you can win.

There's unwritten rules in the community of crack smokers, and this jolly bastard is breaking all of them. Most importantly the one that clearly states washing your hands before changing dicks. Whatever happened to common courtesy?