Instead of doing this in public, perhaps you could flatbed that thing home and do this in the basement? The Josepi's outdoor cafe across the street would appreciate it.

Two things can be learned here. 1) Home surgery does work. 2) Using your foot instead of your dick because you didn't bring a condom to the date with a Sudanese prostitute, does not.

Two men foolishly assume their ride to 34th street is going to be an uneventful one... only to be witnesses of the Ebola virus making it's triumphant return to New York. It's officially summer.

I don't know what I should be more amazed at. That multicolored clothing actually does exist in Russia, or that he gave up on the invisible fishing rod after only one try.

Apparently in scumbag Atlanta, scrubbing off pubic lice is a frowned upon activity. Much like paying a cellphone bill, or not having 16 kids for example.

Suicide or female driving test? In Russia, they're the same thing.

Ugly Betty takes a Pottery Barn gift card where no Pottery Barn gift card has gone before. Or man by the looks of it.

Gender confused monster has pumped so much iron her tits have Introverted. I'll leave the insults at that and keep my chin up for the rest of the day, for I have finally found a black man I outrank in penis size.

Source claims they got a hold of some gnarly shit that instead of getting you high, rots your flesh at the injection point. You'd think usage would desist once you start looking like a guest at a concentration camp but, nope.

Ah yes, a punishment that was only believed to work in Japan during SAT week. But the Middle East is all about adopting culture and diversity... right?

A speech so epic can only be followed by a ride into the sunset. Aboard his Huffy, across the horizon he goes to fight the insect war with 3 speeds of hepatitis.

Between the homoerotic makeout session and the shit eating grin on both their faces throughout the entire ordeal, I don't know if we're watching a revenge video or George Michael bachelor party.