Professor Xavier will be at his house shortly. To let him know he has a more useless mutant ability than Jubilee.

Duo of Russian socialites pop a squat and let loose the spoils of an all-night kegger, all whilst a third girl surveys the damage from afar. Because waiting 13 seconds for the next floor is for faggots.

Ninja-in-training finds out the same thing Kim Kardashian's archipelago of an ass will in about 12.5 years: Gravity's a bitch.

What - two girl videos in the same update? Nope.

Neat trick. But if I wanted someone to fuck up the remake ofAlien, I'd hire Paul Anderson. You lose.

Wanna see a cool trick? Someone get me a needle and Lindsay Lohan's butthole. This is gonna be awesome.

It seems the only thing separating hospital operation videos and Peter North ejaculations, is the lightning.

Chyna has a new sex tape coming out soon. Chances are you'll watch this again before that discovery channel special.

There's only one good scene in Meet Joe Black. And this is it if Rob Zombie did a remake.

Boris "8 shots for breakfast" Maklakov hits the town, bringing nothing more than a shit eating grin and his ability to do The Charleston. Delightful.

Instead of doing this in public, perhaps you could flatbed that thing home and do this in the basement? The Josepi's outdoor cafe across the street would appreciate it.

Two things can be learned here. 1) Home surgery does work. 2) Using your foot instead of your dick because you didn't bring a condom to the date with a Sudanese prostitute, does not.