That happened to my mother-in-law once, but I didn't go back to get her.

Fuck food aid, we need to be sending these people dustpans, so CSI: Shithole here can scoop up brain matter more efficiently.

So he won, right? Apart from the fact he won't be getting any for a while.

That accident tore the man's ear off, luckily for him, he doesn't have to look very far to put it on ice.

With the help of newspaper man there, she's already got her obituary in today's paper...well all over it at least, and it's written in blood.

Visible pubes and an erect bone...surely there must be a gay joke in there somewhere.

Awww, he's playing dead. How cute.

"Oh that poor man...who's pumping gas" Damn straight poor him, gas prices are getting pretty damn high.

Meh, I've woken up after some drunken nights with a bloodier face than that...and oddly always with a tampon stuck to my chin.

In his defense, he did have a pretty important meeting to get to. Besides, cars only explode in the movies, right?

With rioters like these, the government forces can save their ammo.

Mr. Clean isn't only good at saving dirty kitchens or ridding sofas of crusty cum stains...his magic hands can bring monkeys back to life too.