How the hell are we supposed to compete with Johnny 5 here? While his robotic touch automatically turns her into a gushing geyser, I can barely locate the clit without the help of an exact map.

Well, she's got my Private standing to attention.

I've got a dildo she is more than welcome to play with, it's permanently attached to my body and shoots out sperm.

She should be proud too, seeing as she had to cough up $5000 for those beauties. Not to mention she sucked off the plastic surgeon for a 10% discount.

All I want for my next birthday is one magical night with these two lovely ladies, disappointing them in ways they've never been disappointed before.

The one above has truly blessed her with a great body... and by the one above I mean the plastic surgeon who lives two floors above her.

Nothing beats a crazy bitch who's up for anything. She'd probably even be up for pulling on your ears and calling you 'Dumbo' during sex.

Not only are these sluts super hot, but they are also environmentally conscious, sharing bath water like that.

This just takes muff diving to whole new depths.

Don't say I didn't warn you, but your eyes will develop a severe case of diabetes after viewing this chick's sweet body.

This chick right here, is half the reason why our planet is running out of crude oil so quickly.

We heard your chants for lesbian porn yesterday, so here you go, sweet lesbians doing what lesbians do best. Now go forth and masturbate.