I would hold hands the shit outta her.

She was willing to ship a few grands to buy her amazing fake tits but apparently she can't spare a few Euros for a decent webcam.

I'd kill for a night of sloppy anal sex with her. Not a human or anything, but maybe like a turtle or a baby hamster.

She picked those up in the Oversize Parts department at Boobs "R" Us.

I just want to shove my face in them and motorboat for all of eternity. Epic Boobs in every sense of the word.

Sadly your wrinkly old penis is not one of them.

Ooh College, a truly magical place where it is rumored that learning takes place, although to those who enter it is often described as a beatiful land in which beer flows in amber currents next to a golden pasture, where virgins lie naked with gentle smiles upon their calm, inviting faces.

It's not enough for her that the whole internet knows what a hot little whore she is, but she wants her neighbors to know too, by making it rain pussy juice all over them.

We at MentalZero hope you enjoyed New Year's eve, and that your ass doesn't hurt too bad after that one thing you did, but can't remember what was. Hint: it wasn't sparklers in your case...

Guess that answers your question John Lennon, she did have fun.

I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass, just to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie.

Before I die I want to have sex with this girl. Lots and lots of filthy, horrifying, public, indecent, obscene, borderline illegal, ass-fucking, face-jizzing sex.