It's still not quite as effective as Loaded 9mm I stole from my daddies sock drawer stance. But this is a defenseless teenager we're talking about here, not a corner store deli.

People going face-first into the pavement no laughing matter. But we're talking someone who uses cats as toilet paper here, so it's fucking hilarious.

Pretty sure that sound at :09 seconds was him liquifarting into his boxer shorts. Now he can pretend to be athletic, as long as you consider diarrhea a sport.

12 is the magic number here. The jungle gym wasn't meant for ages above it, or IQ's under it. Someone should explain that to him when he wakes up.

Most human beings have a soft spot for people being set on fire accidentally. But that's about to stop right now.

Mixing cocaine, arsenic and shrooms with your buddies joint is really awesome. But you can only do it once.

He should've just punched himself in the face with a fork. That would have at least given karma the night off.

Well if we can't strap rickshaws to them then at least this should be allowed. There, I solved New York City's drug problem.

Real men take what they want. And I'm guessing before that kid's skateboard it was 47 chili dogs.

No word if he ever got his crack back. But the three kids she's had with him since this video are doing just fine.

And that's why varsity has a strict No Retards rule in place.

You probably shouldn't drink at the workplace But if you must, make sure it's as classic as this.