:28 seconds is the magic number here. That would be the pinpointed moment Josè wished he didn't have that nachos grande for lunch.

MFC. Most girls never seem to make it past 40 token donations per hour. But chances are they don't have a peeping tom parent that wants to get chatty during your day shift.

With that kind of determination maybe they should set their sights on more useful treasure. Like a car, or bag of used condoms perhaps.

Accepting the consequences of a foul is pretty basic stuff. Eat the penalty and move on. Unless of course, you live in Brazil. One wrong move and you'll be lucky not to find your entire family hung upside down and gutted when you get home.

If a man on a bike cuts you off, the logical thing to do is get out of your car and charge him like a Sumatran rhino. In the mind of this guy, and every person watching this at least.

This tard is about as much a race car driver as Detroit is a tourist attraction. But when it comes to making kids in dad's Dodge diarrhea themselves, he's a fucking professional.

Not sure what in the blue fuck Merkaba is, but clearly I should have been putting it in the teacher's coffee cups in high school.

The Peter North of boil lancing does something atypical of a douchebag in a sideways cap and collard shirt: Sprays the face and laughs hysterically.

Her plumper cousin isn't too keen on education, so when the time comes to enforce tough love, this fiesty hillbilly does it in the form of bitch slapping. This video is Samuel L Jackson approved.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness. Her gut is filled to the brim with long island ice teas, essentially making her piss hole a lethal weapon. Babu and his finest sheep shag seat covers find that out the hard way.

It seems 16 years ago, this man got his hands on $20 and impregnated a hooker with a heart.

Lack of upper body strength: Just one of the negatives to having 37% body fat. Also, your blood smells like Nutella.