This tard is about as much a race car driver as Detroit is a tourist attraction. But when it comes to making kids in dad's Dodge diarrhea themselves, he's a fucking professional.

Not sure what in the blue fuck Merkaba is, but clearly I should have been putting it in the teacher's coffee cups in high school.

The Peter North of boil lancing does something atypical of a douchebag in a sideways cap and collard shirt: Sprays the face and laughs hysterically.

Her plumper cousin isn't too keen on education, so when the time comes to enforce tough love, this fiesty hillbilly does it in the form of bitch slapping. This video is Samuel L Jackson approved.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness. Her gut is filled to the brim with long island ice teas, essentially making her piss hole a lethal weapon. Babu and his finest sheep shag seat covers find that out the hard way.

It seems 16 years ago, this man got his hands on $20 and impregnated a hooker with a heart.

Lack of upper body strength: Just one of the negatives to having 37% body fat. Also, your blood smells like Nutella.

A simple reminder that just because something trends on Twitter, doesn't mean you should do it. I'm looking in your direction #waitingtillmarriage.

Miss Cleo completely loses her shit when Bill from the photo department kindly asks her to leave. Her reaction? Enough voodoo rain dancing to keep him a virgin until the Harry Potter remake in 2047.

Two things are obvious after watching this. #1 Black vs white confrontations can end somewhat civilly. And #2 Samuel L Jackson really is in every movie ever made.

That was enough wasted denim to clothe all of Ethiopia's children. Those Ethiopians don't wear much.

His need for depends is gonna be a big hit at the next junior ball.