Sir, I do believe you left your hat behind, and your cheese...CHEESE EVERYWHERE!

It warms my heart to see welfare dollars being put to good use.

"Mike, where my phone at? Where it at!" - Forget about the phone, start looking for a copy of English Grammar for Dummies.

Lady, that's what a zoom was made for, so you don't have to run into the middle of a fight. Personally I'm just upset that the saxophonist played the Sanford & Son theme incorrectly.

It seems every girl in the hood comes equipped with a break-away weave system that allows them to easily get away from these types of situations.

I hate reality TV, but I would watch it nonstop if it was Russian reality TV, foaming at the mouth with excitement.

The robber's gun failed to shoot during the initial brawl and then later when the robber tries to slit his throat he misses and slices his cheek. Yet the idiot seems to run after them at the end, pushing his luck for the third time.

She might have a cheating husband, but on the bright side she now has enough of the other chick's hair weave to stuff four large pillows.

My old man taught me two things as a child; never mess with anyone of Polynesian descent, and never fuck a Thai prostitute older than 17, their pussies are completely worn out if they are any older than that. A wise man he was

How rude...she didn't even ask her "what did the five fingers say to the face?" before slapping her.

I can only assume this is the result of getting one too many wedgies from High School jocks.

If we've learned anything this past week, it's that England is apparently filled with insane people on buses. I blame it on the insanity of putting buses on top of buses.