When one of your racing highlights is successfully securing your helmet all by yourself, it might be time to head back to the couch with your Xbox 360. Or Wii if you're one of those people.

And until someone gets the security footage of me eating 50,000 volts after being caught going through that school zone with 8 kilos of coke and a dead hooker, this will remain #1.

Whoa, that's something you just don't see everyday. Over 90% drum accuracy on expert? I call cheats.

If this was the dream MLK was talking about then that sum bitch was on some serious Ambien dosages.

Now he thinks he's a can of ravioli. Make that a twelve piece, extra crispy. Is that racist?

Great idea - that thing will never make it through security. He's like the Jack Bauer of third world countries.

Bam Margera can fuck himself up the ass with as many skateboards as he wants - he'll never be as cool as the guy who almost drank a glass of fat liposuctioned out of a midget.

And the quest to find a happy black woman other than Whoopie Goldberg continues.

This is how Kenya's space program started. And ended.

Me thinks the sex is going to be a little bit rougher tonight. He might actually get past her clitoral hood.

It takes a lot of effort to look like more of a douchebag than the kid in the video below this but I think he's got it.

They make a product for people like this. I think it's called a noose.