Well if they don't get laid now, nothing short of moving to Korea and finding a blind hooker that plays Starcraft 2 via Braille is going to make it happen.

That was a close one. Someone almost had to be given $20 to make a tribute video to him for MTV to use in between commercials for Jersey Shore.

This probably would have worked better if he knew how to wear a shirt. Or how to fight.

In other news, Viagra prescriptions mysteriously dropped by 75% 17 minutes after the broadcast ended.

It's pretty easy to KO someone who doesn't fight back. That's why retarded kids drool on themselves instead of training to be in the UFC.

Guess he had ground advantage.

What the fuck is wrong with him? Dating Joe Frazier is the first thing that comes to mind.

The road to lesbianism is a hard one. But not as hard as getting slapped in the face with a 13 inch elephant cock. Always remember that.

Don't be surprised if 500 unsolved rape cases across the country all end up being traced back to this face.

Why try to have a threesome when you can get beaten like a World of Warcraft player in Harlem instead?

When one of your racing highlights is successfully securing your helmet all by yourself, it might be time to head back to the couch with your Xbox 360. Or Wii if you're one of those people.

And until someone gets the security footage of me eating 50,000 volts after being caught going through that school zone with 8 kilos of coke and a dead hooker, this will remain #1.