LOL @ him trying to justify his Matrix surgery with big words and social interaction. Lets see how much you like being Neo when the only thing willing to have sex with you is a prop from the set of Terminator 2.

This actually works. I know because I tried it on my mom last week and she still hasn't gotten up.

Change we really can believe in. Remember to vote for her skull in 2012.

Nobody said father-son relationships were easy in the hood, but they sure are painful.

I'd do this too, but I'm waiting until at least 60 before I reintroduce shitting my pants into the daily routine.

With such talent it's a safe bet his wife never accidentally takes it in the butt. Intentional cornhole destruction FTW.

When he turns 16 and is taught how to shave with a machete, I hope dad catches that precious memory on film too.

If anyone has an explanation for this please be sure to post it. I'm still working on the video right below this.

No matter what happens in Vegas, it will always stay in Vegas. His 14 meetings with a parole officer per week included.

The reason he seems so calm, cool and collected is because I did all the pants soiling for him just watching this. Fuck.

Putting a rocket launcher in a Russian's hands makes as much sense as a Vietnamese prostitute at a blood drive, but it does make for one very entertaining video. Enjoy.

For a nation of people that have turned defecation into appetizers this isn't really all that shocking.