Other than downing a months supply of Hot Pockets in one sitting I can't think of anything a mini-blimp wearing Spider-Man pajamas could possibly do to deserve this.

99% of the time vagina in your face is a good thing. This and Amy Winehouse are the other 1%.

Somewhere on the Internet is a cop from Alabama stroking his tazer with a tear in his eye right now.

Having his first roid rage induced fist fight at the age of 9? I think I found my new hero. Take a seat inventor of the Sybian.

That was one spray tan away from being the entire second season of Jersey Shore. Intense.

How is this even possible at that range? You could spin a mentally challenged kid around for 20 minutes and then have him swat the wings off a fly and he'd still have a better chance of making contact than this idiot.

The only thing more embarrassing then this would have been getting donkey punched. But he can always work his way up to that.

Just when you thought you were void of any compassion, this little bitch had to go get her ass kicked.

OK who's packaging steroids with Justin Bieber albums?

Once he remembers where he lives, everyone is getting de-friended on Facebook.