Somewhere on the Internet is a cop from Alabama stroking his tazer with a tear in his eye right now.

This is why I only ride motorcycles in video games, and in stories I make up to impress women.

The tattoo on her lower back too is only a meager 2 inches in diameter. The sign of a whore-in-training.

Just when you thought you were void of any compassion, this little bitch had to go get her ass kicked.

Having a wheel where your head should be might not be all that bad. Just look at Lady Gaga. No seriously, go look at her. Ha Ha I made your dick invert.

OK who's packaging steroids with Justin Bieber albums?

I'm not sure what this is about, but I'm inclined to believe it had something to do with her being a female and not knowing how to turn her mouth off.

In a world where blue-balling thousands of men at the same time is a sport, she's Kobe Bryant.

Once he remembers where he lives, everyone is getting de-friended on Facebook.

A man that multitasks dentistry with the same methods as his home abortion kits is not only talented, but economically sound.