Q: Why Did the Asian girl cross the Road? A: Because she had a death wish.

Fuck it, just brick him into the wall. Problem solved.

Has no one told these sluts that sleeping with either beasts or robots is a sin, a sin worthy of a good old fashioned stoning (a spanking if they are hot).

Crazy people...now available both INSIDE and OUTSIDE the bus!

That seems like a perfect task for the good old rolling pin!

Yikes, better be nice to this guy, or he might stick his frozen foot up your ass.

You gotta love a woman screaming like a banshee during a fight; "SOMEBODY HELP HIM! I AM REGULATING THIS SITUATION BY SCREAMING OUT OBVIOUS THINGS WHILE NOT CONTRIBUTING IN ANY WAY!"

You couldn't paint a pair of natural boobs much hotter if you tried. Actually, maybe I'd snip a little bit off the areola, but only if I was going for the ultimate perfection.

They were pretty pissed to learn that the roulette tables didn't take food stamps as a form of payment.

He used to be an adventurer like Lassie, then he took a crossbow bolt to the face.

That's why I never leave the house without my titanium umbrella, you just never know when the weather might take a turn for the worse and it starts raining school buses.

These lesbians need to chill the fuck down and listen to Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry".