Other than downing a months supply of Hot Pockets in one sitting I can't think of anything a mini-blimp wearing Spider-Man pajamas could possibly do to deserve this.

If karma is real then I really, really hope she's well-acquainted with anal torture via AIDS infected porcupines.

This definitely isn't the kind of girl you bring home to mom. Unless mom does lots of drugs and sleeps for 17 hours per day.

99% of the time vagina in your face is a good thing. This and Amy Winehouse are the other 1%.

Hey horse get out of that car. You can't drive, you don't even have a license.

The only thing more embarrassing then this would have been getting donkey punched. But he can always work his way up to that.

Any pornstar could have told him 9 vs 1 means you lose. No matter what happens.

It's a good thing she wasn't Asian. The goldfish wouldn't have survived through 30 seconds of that.

In other news, Viagra prescriptions mysteriously dropped by 75% 17 minutes after the broadcast ended.

This is the #1 reason why you should only go to concerts if being decked in the face is something you look forward too after being rejected by drunk girls.